This guy Frank can’t sleep at night because he is thinking about the debt he is in. His wife likes the finer things in life, and she even got their son into horse race gambling so that she could fit in with certain wealthy circles.
But Frank thinks up a plan to get out of debt and gently wakes up his son. He asks him to do something for him.
At first, his son agrees to help, but then quickly changes his mind when he learns that his father wants to enroll him in The Thinkery, a place where no self-respecting, athletic young man wants to be associated with.
Frank explains that students of The Thinkery learn how to turn inferior arguments into winning arguments.
“Suing our creditors might be the only chance we have,” he says. But his son isn’t convinced
So, despite already being retired, Frank decides to enroll himself, but after a few weeks at The Thinkery, it becomes clear that Frank isn’t able to grasp the learning materials.
His professors come up with a last ditch idea. They ask Frank to meditate under a blanket so that he can clear his mind and think clearly, but, unfortunately, Frank just ends up using the blanket to masturbate.
The professors have had enough. They politely suggest that maybe Frank could find someone else to do his learning for him.
Frank thinks this is a great idea and so he decides to ask his son again. But this time he threatens his son with a time-tested, albeit inferior, argument, a physical beating.
His son finally agrees to join The Thinkery and Frank goes home happy.
A full semester passes and Frank returns to fetch his son, who emerges as a pale intellectual man, the type of man that Frank feared becoming.
Frank starts partying everyday, and when his debt collectors called, he sent them to hell. But this angered Frank’s son, who is now educated and morally aligned. He called the celebration undisciplined and ended up giving his father a good beating.
Frank goes back to The Thinkery to ask for a refund on the count of that his son has been brainwashed. But when he gets there, his son is ready to debate him with a cool-head.
Frank’s son argues that if a father has the right to beat his son, then a son has the right to beat his father. He puts forth logic and reason in a way that left Frank speechless, but Frank makes a mental note to sue The Thinkery.
Frank then rounds up a few of his pals, and they go to The Thinkery to threaten the professors with beatings until they agree to settle the lawsuit.
Through his threats, Frank wins the settlement claim and makes enough money to pay off his debts, and The Thinkery closes for good. The End.
A modern version of The Clouds by Aristophanes.